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My daughter is 11. I am struggling so much. She won't share anything with me. And rarely joins our family for long. No TV nights, short time at dinner, quiet car rides. It makes me sad. She has never been this introverted. Or at least not with me. Because we have always been close and open it's very hard for me to figure out how to talk with her. I'm not sure if anyone here will be willing to share their similar stories, but if so I would so appreciate it. I talk with my parents, but while they sympathize their ideas aren't helpful to make progress. I have asked her teachers but things at school seem ok. From what I hear she is always with friends and looks happy. Is this a phase, just growing up and wanting more independence? I remember pulling away from my mom around 14 or 15yo but I was not a nice kid! My daughter is a sweet kid. If you're willing, please share your thoughts. Thank you so much.
Angel
Hi! I just posted about some struggles (acne) with our daughter. Sorry to hear you're having some tough moments with your little girl. We had a similar moment a few years ago. It passed eventually but it broke my heart to see my daughter turn from me. After so many years of her running to me for everything. I tried to be patient. I let her know I would always be there for her. It might be feel awkward as the kids get older, but I believe it helped. It helped her know I would be there when she was ready to talk again. She has opened up to me again. It's not as dependent as when she was a young child. But we're getting close on a different more adult like level. Kids go through things at school we're so unaware as parents. Hang in there. Let her know you're there for her no judgement (if possible for your family). Vic
Oh my goodness, this sounds like our family to a T. I struggle to talk with my daughter (13). She won't open up to me. She gives me these sideways glares. It makes me angry all day then sad all night. Thanks for posting. I feel less alone in this. I suggest finding peace in knowing she is with friends and happy. If you feel her friends are a good influence then even better.
Sorry to hear you're dealing with this. It's so emotionally struggling. I don't have an answer, I only wanted to let you know you have support.
Similar situation in our extended family (close cousin to us). They struggled for nearly a year. Talking, yelling, searching for answers and lots of crying. The mom started taking her daughter (older, I think 15 at that time) on hikes, bike rides, outdoorsy stuff. They both play tennis so the mom even though it was sort of forced in the beginning they started playing again - it had been years, since daughter was maybe 7-8. Just the two for a few hours on as many weekends as the weather allowed. At first it was tough. Sounded painful and more stressful than ignoring the "phase". She used to call me crying during the week because she had such a hard time trying to convince her own daughter to spend time with her. Always complaining she wanted to hang with friends instead. She acted like she hated it maybe she did. I give the mom so much credit. She stayed with it. they went no matter what. Eventually things started to be more relaxing and it turned into quality time. They didn't always share deep personal stuff as much as the mom wanted, but her daughter knows her mom is there when she needs her.
If you are not an sports person, maybe this kind of time would also work in a painting class, a walk through the park, a trip to the museum. All the best, hang in there.
good idea